Setting Social Media Boundaries | Desire Dialogues S1E2
You Are Not a DIY Project: Social Media, Expertise, and the Power of Doing Less
In a world where every scroll tells you to “fix” something—your skin, your mindset, your relationships, your home—it’s no wonder we’re exhausted. Social media, for all its benefits, has created a culture of constant comparison and correction. But here’s a gentle reminder from a recent conversation between two brilliant minds in the mental health space: you are not a DIY project.
Let’s take a breath with that.
When "Expertise" Becomes a Dirty Word
In a digital age where information is everywhere, expertise often gets drowned out. Anyone can read a few articles, watch a couple of interviews, and speak with confidence. But that doesn’t make someone an expert. Knowing facts isn't the same as knowing people—and that’s what therapists do. They see patterns across lives, hold nuance, and apply years of education and practice to help others heal.
Mental health professionals aren’t here just to talk—they’re trained to listen, to hold space, and to support deep transformation. So no, your therapist isn’t just “someone who talks for a living.” And no, watching five TikToks doesn’t mean you’re ready to diagnose yourself or someone else. (Even if you did go to “Grey’s Anatomy University.”)
“Fix It” Culture and the Power of Boundaries
Social media encourages us to stay in a loop: discover a flaw, find a solution, repeat. But what if we stepped off that hamster wheel?
The podcast touched on the value of intentional boundaries—not just how much time we spend online, but what we’re taking in and how it’s shaping us. That might look like:
Removing social media apps from your phone
Limiting rabbit holes with time blocks or app blockers
Sharing the load with others (you don’t have to consume all the hard content alone)
Choosing to do more things you love instead of just trying to be online less
Because when your day is full of things you actually enjoy—Pilates, French lessons, date night, a new podcast—you naturally spend less time doom-scrolling. Your attention shifts back to the real world. To your real life.
From Save Folder to Real Life
Let’s talk about those “save for later” videos and lists. You know the ones. That brunch spot. That new skincare routine. That therapist who said exactly what you needed to hear.
Here’s your permission: go do those things.
Let the app be the starting point, not the whole story. If you saved a video of a chocolate hand massage at a restaurant, go try it. Use your senses. Get playful. Let yourself be surprised and delighted by something in real life.
The Tension Between Being the Expert and Being the Human
There’s something sacred about therapy spaces that allow for shared power—where a therapist is an expert in mental health, and the client is the expert in themselves. But social media can blur those lines. Some people come to therapy already convinced they know what’s wrong—and they don’t always want feedback. That’s a challenge.
Therapists don’t hold all the answers, but they do hold perspective. They’ve seen what trauma, grief, anxiety, and healing look like across many people’s lives. That’s part of what makes them so valuable.
And at the same time, you are not broken.
You don’t need to become a project. You are not raw material waiting to be made better. You are already worthy of rest, love, and joy.
A Final, Delicious Reminder
This episode left us with a truth that feels good to say out loud:
You are not a DIY project.
You might have some areas you want to grow in, some healing to do. But you are not a problem to be solved. You are already lovable and worthy as you are.
So rest in that.
