Mental Health: Social Media, Beauty Politics and Power Dynamics | Desire Dialogues | S1E1

The Illusion of Connection: Parasocial Relationships, Social Media & the Loneliness We Don’t Talk About

We’re living in a time where it's never been easier to keep up—with influencers, creators, and public figures. We see people’s lives in real-time. We celebrate their wins, root for their relationships, and feel heartbreak when something goes left. And while it can feel like a community, we have to ask ourselves: is this actual connection, or just the illusion of it?

Let’s name it: we’re in the era of parasocial relationships.

Parasocial relationships are these one-sided connections we form with people we don’t actually know—usually influencers, creators, or even therapists. You watch them. You keep up with them. You feel like you know them. But they don’t know you. That connection isn’t mutual.

And here’s the thing—it tricks us. It tricks our minds into believing we’re plugged in. That we have people. That we’re not alone. But for a lot of folks, when things get quiet and life gets hard… they realize there’s nobody to call.

That’s not just a social problem. That’s a mental health one.

We Are All Content Creators Now (But Should We Be?)

Somewhere along the way, we all started performing our lives. Not sharing. Performing.

Everything is a story, a post, a reel. Every moment is pre-drafted in your mind before it even happens: What’s the caption? Which filter? Will people engage? And if we’re not careful, we become disconnected from our own lives—more invested in how they look than how they feel.

Even joy feels curated.

It’s not just about aesthetics—it’s about survival. In a world that feels chaotic and heavy (from pandemics to politics), sometimes content is how we cope. A home reno project. A closet makeover. A dance trend. These things feel like control in a world that often doesn’t make sense. And sometimes, that's okay. We deserve joy in whatever form it comes.

But we also deserve a life that’s lived offline. A life with people who ask how you’re doing without needing to scroll to find out.

You Deserve Real Community

One of the sneakiest side effects of parasocial relationships is that they delay us from building the real thing. You feel emotionally full from your timeline—but emotional fullness doesn’t equal emotional safety. Knowing what your favorite creator’s baby wore today doesn’t mean you have someone to call when you’re crying in your car.

There’s something sacred about mutuality. About people who know your middle name, your laugh, your hard stories. Real relationships take effort, vulnerability, and time. And yes—they're harder than consuming someone else's life. But they are so much more rewarding.

Everyone’s a “Narcissist” Now? Social Media & Mental Health Buzzwords

Let’s also talk about how social media flattens complex mental health language.

Somehow, in the span of a few scrolls, everyone’s a narcissist, every ex is toxic, and every friend disagreement is a trauma response. We lose the nuance. And that’s dangerous—not just for mental health professionals trying to do our work, but for people trying to make sense of their lives with real, grounded support.

Mental health work is not meant to be content for public consumption. It’s intimate. Sacred. Personalized. And when social media co-opts that language, it can lead people to misdiagnose, misunderstand, or even pathologize perfectly human emotions.

So, What Do We Do?

Let’s get back to something slower. Something real.

• Start with a feelings check-in. Like actually pause. How do I feel today—really?

• Audit your connections. Do you have people who know your heart? Who would call you just because? Who don’t need a highlight reel to know what’s going on?

• Protect your peace. Not everything needs to be shared. Save something for yourself, baby.

• Reimagine community. Maybe it’s one friend. Maybe it’s a group chat. Maybe it’s showing up to therapy consistently. Real connection doesn’t always look big—but it always feels real.

Because while parasocial relationships may entertain us, only mutual relationships can sustain us.

And you, dear reader, deserve to be known—not just watched.