3 Levels of Dealing with Workplace Shenanigans
How to Deal With Workplace Isms (Because Folks Are Getting Bold)
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but some people are getting mighty fucking bold at work these days. Excuse my language—I don’t usually cuss seven seconds in, but we need to have a quick conversation about how to handle workplace isms.
You know what I’m talking about—sexism, racism, heterosexism, ableism—whatever it is that’s making your workplace uncomfortable (or downright hostile). The real question is, how do you navigate it?
I’ve got three levels for you to choose from. Now, I don’t know your workplace—you do. That means you need to pick the approach that fits your situation, your personality, your paycheck, and your peace.
But before we get into it—hey, sunshine! I’m Dr. Donna Oriowo, a sex and relationship therapist in the Washington, D.C. metro area. Over here, I’m all about helping Black women feel free, fabulous, and f*cked (yes, you know what I mean). I’m also the author of Drink Water and Mind Your Business.
Here are three ways to handle workplace isms—on your terms.
1. Be a Tour Guide
This level is all about teaching people how to treat you—and sometimes, that means literally teaching them what they just said or did was sexist, racist, ableist, or just plain wrong.
Some folks are truly ignorant (or at least, that’s what they claim). So, you educate them. You say, “Hey, just so you know, that comment? Not okay.” You set the boundary and let them know they need to do better.
This is the gentle approach—low risk, low effort, but still effective.
2. Come With Confession
Here’s where you play confused—because sometimes, people say wild things expecting you to just roll with it.
Instead of letting it slide, tilt your head, squint, and hit ‘em with a ‘Huh?’
Make them explain. Make them unpack their own nonsense. Ask:
“What do you mean by that?”
“Can you explain the joke?”
“Wait, I don’t get it—why is that funny?”
They were hoping you’d just let it go—but now they have to sit in their own mess. And let me tell you, watching them squirm is a beautiful thing.
3. Check It (Every Single Time)
If they won’t learn and they won’t squirm, then it’s time to escalate.
Check your local laws.
Check your company policies.
Check them—every single time.
If they’re violating workplace rules? Tell HR.
If HR won’t do anything? Go higher.
If nobody is taking it seriously? Get the law involved.
And listen—yes, be a tattletale. Be a snitch. Because if they’re comfortable making you uncomfortable, they’re the problem, not you.
Now, let’s be real for a second. If your company refuses to take action, if HR is just collecting a check, and if the culture is trash?
Bonus: Get Out If You Can
Sometimes, the best move is to find a new job—one where you’ll be seen, accepted, and valued.
You do not have to tolerate a toxic work environment just because they cut your paycheck. If the bullshit is never-ending, it’s time to bounce.
What’s Your Move?
Now, I want to hear from you. How do you handle workplace isms? Drop your thoughts in the comments—because trust me, somebody out there needs to hear it.
And remember: Discourse, not disrespect. Keep it cute, or get blocked.
