Intent VS Impact
Baby, this is a whole intent versus impact conversation, and we need to have it. But first, let me rewind.
Hey, sunshine! I’m Dr. Donna Oriowo, your favorite relationship therapist serving Black women in the Washington, D.C., Metro Area—helping y’all feel free, fabulous, and f*cked enough in every aspect of life.
Now, let’s get into it.
Intent vs. Impact: What’s the Difference?
Intent is what you hoped would happen. Intent lives in your mind, rooted in what you meant to do, what you thought would go down, and how you pictured it playing out.
Impact? Oh, impact is what actually happened. It’s the lived experience of the person on the receiving end of your actions, your words, your energy.
And here’s where things get messy: We spend so much time defending our intentions—trying to prove that we meant well—that we rarely pause to acknowledge or take responsibility for our impact.
Where This Shows Up
This ain't just about personal relationships. This goes deep—from microaggressions to full-on racist and sexist behaviors. We see ourselves as “good people” based on our thoughts and intentions, rather than the reality of how we show up in the world.
But listen, it’s real hard to live a free, fabulous, and f*cked enough life if you can’t see yourself clearly—if you can’t own your actions, their power, and the effect they have on others.
So, What Needs to Change?
Sometimes, we need to take a beat. Instead of jumping to defend ourselves, we should pause and reflect:
Did my impact actually match my intent?
Am I listening, or am I just waiting to prove my point?
Am I willing to adjust my behavior to ensure my actions align with my values?
Growth requires us to do more than pat ourselves on the back for good intentions while ignoring the damage left in our wake. The road to hell? Paved with good intentions, baby.
I’m gonna leave it right there. But now I’m asking you:
✨ Are you living in a way that prioritizes impact as much as intent?
✨ Or are you out here giving yourself gold stars just because you meant well?
Hit me in the comments.
